Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Legally Blind

I'm not sure when, sometime between preteen and early teen, my eye doctor announced to me that I was legally blind. If the fact that I had bifocals in junior high didn't completely make me feel like an old lady and totally awkward, that revelation did it. Wow. Years later after moving across the state with my then husband, I visited a new eye doctor who actually laughed out loud at my prescription. He had never had a patient so young with such bad vision. Thanks man, you're making me feel awesome!!

As you might imagine the phrase "blind as a bat" has been a constant through out my life. I haven't ever given it much thought not even bothering to be offended because, well, I am blind. Lately though my thoughts have turned towards my vision. What do I see when I look at people, both those that I know and love and those that I just meet? The things I notice are not usually the most apparent. In fact, I am really good at overlooking the obvious things in life. That could explain why I'm not so good at games, way too much concentration for me.

I would like to believe I'm good at seeing people, not really their appearance, but who they are. I notice things, little things, clues about their persons. I like piecing together what I believe are their motives, their interests, ultimately their personalities and true selves. I wonder about people constantly, people who come into the store, people who pass me in the halls at school, people who drive past me on the highway, people sitting near me at restaurants or the library. I am overwhelmed knowing they have a whole reality that exists simultaneously to mine and probably never intersects. Or maybe it does in really interesting ways and I am unaware. I don't know. I see things that show me that so many of these people would be good to know. They all, or mostly all, have unique and wonderful gifts to offer the world. I wonder if the people in their lives notice. I wonder if they are loved as they should be.

It always amazes me what goes unseen. There are so many dear, dear people that I love who are nearly invisible. Amazing people. Wondrous, magnificent, astounding individuals who are taken for granted and unknown to those closest to them. It breaks my heart. It is such a waste. People who should be celebrated and adored are looked over, trampled on by others who can't see past themselves, who would manipulate the truth at the cost of damaging such a precious individual.

We've probably all been that one misused at some time or another. I personally have spent years trying to figure out what I did wrong in different situations. I all too easily accept that I have been wrong but it has taken me all of those years to accept that I did not deserve to be thrown away, to be treated like nothing. Faults don't make us worthless or monsters. They make us human. They certainly don't negate our need to love and be loved. Love is the gift of the human experience. It has been bestowed upon us with mercy and grace and we have the ability to give it freely. Why do we choose to hurt? Why do we look upon each other in blindness?

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