Have you ever noticed that the way people look changes as you get to know them? It seems perception is changed by knowledge. Their personality changes their appearance. Maybe we just hone in on different things as time goes on. I'm not sure why or how, I just know it happens.
Words are the same for me. They change as my life rushes on. They look different as I write them. They taste different as I speak them. They change and become more, more of whatever they were to begin with. They become full of experience and my practical applications of them. They grow heavy and I become more careful and intentional with their use. They grow savory and purposeful. No longer a mere combination of letters, they are now a piece of my person, a reflection of who I was, am, and am going to be.
Patience is one of those words. I can remember becoming aware of this word as a child. I recall warnings against praying for patience because of what might ensue. It seemed a very important virtue to possess. I admit, I greatly desired patience, yet I did not desire the learning of patience. I was a little frightened of patience actually, too hard won. I never felt I had what was needed to win it. That word grew heavier as the meaning became clearer, as understanding crept in.
Here I am now, in need of some patience, more than usual. My life takes a fair amount on a regular basis, I'm scared to ask for more. Not sure I can handle the process of procuring the more. Things are hard and they might get (will get) harder. Some days feel and will feel impossible. This is not forever. I've faced many things thus far and I'm quite sure I'll face more but along the way I have picked up some patience. Not much, not enough to call myself patient, but I'm learning.
Sad woman, take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Sad sugar take the time
'Cause the lights they shine so bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it